Children and Their Thoughts
Parenting & Child Mental Health

Children and Their Thoughts

December 2024
8 min read
Nugent Family Counseling

Discover why removing screens from children's rooms is one of the most powerful interventions for reducing anxiety and depression—teaching healthy coping through solitude and self-reflection.

The Critical First Step

If your child has a screen in their room, remove it.

As a parent of five children, ages 9 – 23, I understand the temptation to occupy a child to allow for "me time." Additionally, with the prolific use of technology in our lives, it's second nature to grab a device to occupy our time, or to take a break from the stress.

The Reality of Modern Parenting

We are overwhelmed as parents, usually both parents working jobs, school activities, sports and music lessons. As much as we love our kids and desire the best for them, we are burnt out and tired, handing over a smartphone to a five year old for a few moments of quiet time.

It's Okay to Need Breaks

Of course this is going to happen, this is normal, and it's important that we as parents have quiet time to recharge so we can be at our best. Handing over that device works.

The Problem: It Works Too Well

There is an unfortunate side effect over time.

As that five year old gets older, they have learned to connect to a device when mom and dad are stressed. They also learn that if they get stressed, this distraction helps cope and alleviate the difficult thoughts they are having.

What Children Learn vs. What They Need

What They Learn

  • • Use devices when parents are stressed
  • • Distract from difficult thoughts
  • • Avoid uncomfortable emotions
  • • Cope through avoidance

What They Need

  • • Face their fears
  • • Address difficult thoughts
  • • Process uncomfortable situations
  • • Develop healthy coping

Adults Understand This Balance:

As adults we understand the importance of stepping away from our stress and sometimes finding entertainment to distract us for a moment. But as adults we also understand that we need to face our fears, address the difficult and uncomfortable thoughts and situations in life.

Where Personality is Formed

It's in these moments that our personality is defined and our values displayed. We learn who we are in the quiet moments of reflection or meaningfully connecting with others we love and trust.

Do we teach our children to do the same?

The Solution: Remove Screens from Bedrooms

Any Type of Screen Device

Remove it and prevent any from entering.

Some of the most difficult emotional and mental challenges children are facing is an inability to be alone with their own thoughts and struggles.

What Children Are Missing

Children are already inundated with distractions. As parents, we can provide opportunities for our children to face and wrestle with their:

Own thoughts

Struggles

Loneliness

Boredom

Pain

The Cost of Devices in Bedrooms

Unfortunately, if we as parents allow devices in their room we are removing the much needed and healthy solitude to discover themselves.

Lost: Quiet moments to emotionally, rationally and intellectually define themselves

Teaches: Unhealthy coping and avoidance

The Most Successful Intervention

More Effective Than Most Treatments

There is no medication, few therapeutic interventions that are more successful to alleviate anxiety, depression and unhealthy behavior in children than removing devices from their rooms and instituting age-appropriate device usage.

Take the Challenge

Remove and Manage Screen Time for Children

This simple change will:

Decrease childhood anxiety

Decrease behavioral issues

Create more meaningful family connections

Help that child discover their true personality

Give Your Child the Gift of Solitude

By removing screens from bedrooms, you're giving your child the opportunity to discover who they really are, develop healthy coping skills, and build emotional resilience that will serve them for life.

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The Most Powerful Parenting Intervention

Screen devices teach children unhealthy avoidance when stressed, preventing them from developing crucial skills: facing fears, processing difficult emotions, and discovering their true personality through quiet reflection. Removing screens from bedrooms provides necessary solitude for children to wrestle with thoughts, struggles, loneliness, boredom, and pain—defining themselves emotionally, rationally, and intellectually. This simple intervention surpasses most medications and therapies, dramatically decreasing childhood anxiety, behavioral issues while creating meaningful family connections and helping children discover their authentic selves.