Discover the balanced approach of authoritative parenting—creating boundaries while fostering independence, self-confidence, and healthy development in children.
Whether it's in the home, schools, or group homes across the country– there is one argument that stands the test of time. Do discipline and strict parenting create rebellious kids who act out against the rules, or is it the enabling parents that lead to their children acting out in uncontrollable behaviors? Should childhood be structured and rule-driven, or should kids discover the world on their own?
The Answer: You Probably Have the Right Idea
No matter what side you are on, or if you're in the middle, you should know you probably have the right idea. Raising children in today's world requires a delicate balance between the two.
Authoritative parenting is the space between enabling and disciplinarian that allows for the best of both worlds—a space for the child to naturally explore their world and learn in ways that are best suited for them.
Self-confidence
Creativity
Curiosity
Decision-making skills
It's easy to speak of these styles in elevated and academic terms, but what about their practice? What separates Authoritative parenting from Authoritarian? It's where and how control is applied.
Key Characteristic: Emphasizes demands without explanation
Example Scenario: School Clothing
"This is how it is"
Key Characteristic: Guidelines with explanation and flexibility
Same Scenario: School Clothing
Boundaries respected + Individual expression = Healthy growth
To give you an analogy: An authoritative parent develops the "container" or "boundary" in which the child is allowed to grow, and within that boundary, they can explore and experience their world as long as those boundaries are respected.
Should they be disrespectful, privileges are still lost in a way that matches the boundary disruption but with the notion of "we can try again tomorrow".
It's an approach that treats a child with the individuality they deserve while respecting the boundaries of the parent and providing a healthy atmosphere to grow in.
The success of this style of parenting relies on the core of parenting: the nurturing transfer of wisdom and the development of experience.
"Don't do that"
"We don't do that because..."
Core values are developed, passed on, and tested in the child's world—who then can develop their own experience and interpretations under the parent's guidance and initial framework.
The cons of this particular approach:
If attempting to change to an authoritative style, it requires time to get results
Parent must maintain balance between limit setting, boundary control, and consistency
Understanding that results take time and consistency across the child's day
This approach highlights the spirit of parenting, but the experiences of parents vary and everyone's lives and relationships are individual.
It's not to say that this model or approach to parenting might not work for you, but your situation or family system might require additional help beyond this framework.
Reach out for more information and a potential free consultation so that I might better understand and help with your particular problem.
Schedule Free ConsultationAssociate Marriage and Family Therapist at Nugent Family Counseling Center
Finding the right balance in parenting isn't always easy. Our experienced family therapists can help you develop an authoritative approach tailored to your unique family situation, creating healthy boundaries while fostering your child's independence and growth.